We have a lovely garden where trees and flowers grow.
Love to watch the birdies come and food for them we throw.
We have a pond where they can drink and a nest for them to lay.
A really smashing wrinklies place where we could sit all day.
One sunny day the squirrels came and dropped in from above.
Funny, when we first saw them, we thought they were in love.
Running along the trees and fence like children's fluffy toys.
Even us, with all our years, couldn't tell the girls from boys.
We fed 'em nuts and fruit and stuff to keep 'em coming here.
We thought 'em great and from the first we really had no fear.
So funny as they washed their face and dried it with their tail.
Hiding nuts in our green grass in case supplies should fail
Then late one night we got a fright with loud noises overhead.
Wakened suddenly from our dreams we shot right out of bed.
Banging, Tapping, Running Feet 'twas such a rowdy din.
We didn't know!, we were naive!, 'twas squirrels moving in.
When they got real settled in they joined up for D I Y.
They rearranged our attic things like thunder in the sky.
They chewed our junk, ate the foam and really made a stink
All our efforts to evict them didn't even make them blink.
Then in throes of desperation we called up and got the men.
At nine they came to set a trap, were gone again by ten.
Came next day to check the trap and found a squirrel caught.
Then paper work came out, Seventy Quid the invoice sought.
Trying now to ease my pain contemplating rodents' fate.
Assuming in my naive way, this squirrel would be the late.
Being kind, I said I hoped it's death would not be slow.
The man replied it won't be bad we always let them go.
We still have a lovely garden where trees and flowers grow.
But not to watch the birdies come and food for them to throw.
For we must patrol and watch the trees, no time to take a nap.
We feel their eyes, we see twigs fall, the Buggers will be back.
Walter Occleston