I hope that I will never see
that broad who looks so much like me
A broad whose worn out bra is pressed
against her droopy, sagging breasts.
A broad who sits around all day
and hopes that she'll not have to say
What's for dinner-she won't know
go ask Phil-that's his show.
Her skin, once soft, is now so dry,
that she, like me, would like to cry
Her head aches, her feet are sore,
She's becoming quite a bore.
Then, it's time to take a pill
to ease the pains that seem to fill
Her whole body every day.
She wishes they would go away.
She's old and ugly, short and fat
and she always wears a hat
To cover up her frizzy hair
to go without it-she won't dare.
She needs a face lift very bad.
Her chins are drooping, it's so sad
And scary too, that she should be
almost like a twin to me.
Her legs are sore and she can't sleep,
so sometimes from her bed she'll creep
So she can take another pill
and hopes that she will not wake Phil.
But now and then, she will say,
I feel fairly well today,
So let's go visit our son, Pat.
But she won't go without her hat.
She'll get dressed up, like she should
sometimes, she cleans up pretty good.
With apologies to Joyce Kilmer
Dorothy Costello