Me Auntie started cryin',
as they brought the coffin in.
Well, it did look kind o' strange like,
cos it were long an' thin.
It must o' been twelve foot long,
an' nearly six foot wide.
Oh 'Enry, why've yer left me?
Me poor Old Auntie cried.
If it wasn't for the Council,
'e'd still be 'ere t'day.
But they went an' took the cobbles up,
an' tarmac they did lay.
Our 'Enry 'ad jus' been t' pub,
to 'ave a glass or two.
But 'e must o' missed 'is footin' like,
an' stumbled down the brew.
Well, 'e'd got 'is bran' new clogs on,
an' they weren't' much at grippin'.
'Is mates all tried t' grab 'im,
but they couldn't stop 'im slippin'.
Down an' down the 'ill 'e went,
pickin' up some speed.
Till 'e landed in the road works,
in some fresh laid screed.
They said 'e did a somersault,
before 'is fall were over.
An' the driver didn't stand a chance,
the one in the steam roller.
They scraped 'im up as best they could,
I'm sure they did their best.
Well, -- yer only 'ad t' look at 'im,
'is suit were nicely pressed.
I jus' don't know what t' do with 'im,
'e won't fit in the crem',
An' the grave they'd 'ave t' dig 'im,
would surely 'old ten men.
I might wait 'til I decorate,
then paste 'im on the wall.
Wi' some nice flock paper over 'im,
yer'll 'ardly notice 'im at all.
Stanley Brown