We thank you for your valued call,
But noone's here to help at all.
Please listen carefully if you would,
And follow all the prompts you should.
If you're a telemarketer,
Or spruiker, or a fundraiser,
You've got the number wrong somehow,
Please end your call and hang up now.
And if you're from a company
That still believes you're owed a fee,
Your forms were filled in great detail,
The cheques been sent, it's in the mail.
If you are from the ATO,
Or Centrelink, or large bureau,
Or any public service set,
Your call can't be connected yet.
Please try and place a later call,
There's no help left here, after all.
For other callers not asleep,
Just leave your message at the beep.
A family member will reply,
And leave a message, by and by.
Stringybark