I'm really confused right now. its kind of a long story. i hope u can help. I was in a relationship with a guy for around two years or so. towards the end, the last 5 months, things really started to go downhill. we were both very happy...but trying our best to work things out. pretty soon i knew i would have to let him go before it destroyed us both. but i was too afraid...after all we had a real serious committment with allot in to it. i needed a gentle push in the right direction. that is were Mark came along. Mark is a few years older than me...and lives a completely different life than that of my own. he hasn't had it great in life and doesn't trust many people. he depends solely on his self, no one else. he has his own rock band which is basically his life. he works all the time and has a son he cannot see. i've known him for four years, and ever since thwe beginnign we've had a strange attraction to eachother that comes anf goes, but never truly leaves. we can go months without seeing or talking to eachother...but as soon as we see each other it's like it never left. we have been fighting it for years, knowing our lives were too different and that we really didn't stand a chance to be toegther. my brother was his best friend and very protective of me... that made it hard too. we did share a few intimacies theroughout the years but nothing really serious. it was more than just on a physical level, though....it was deeply emotional too. our connection was so strong that i have to admit in the past we have cheated on the people we are dating bc we cannot avoid one another. we have tried w/o success. we purposefully stop calling eachother and don't talk for motnths...but fate has had a way of makign us come back together at the oddest moments. and this time, it happened when i was in trouble the most. i knew where he worked, and went to visit him out of the blue just to see how he was doing bc it had been almost a year. i had no bad intentions..i actually believed all my feeligns for him had finally fled. but for some reason i got all nervous and shaky and could not breathe. i didn't think much of it the first few times we saw eachother..but th feeling only grew. and there was something in his eye and in his touch when he hugged that told me it was more for him too. we ended up hanging out with my brother and a few friends one night, and mark and i remained pretty clsoe. i told him in private that i still felt for him, i could not deny even tho i knew i shoudln't. he said the same in return...and told me shortly after that he was in love with me. he had known it for a long time. I have to admit i did kiss him when i was still with my ex..and he with another gurl. he right thng in my heart to do and i could not stop. well realizing how i felt for mark and what i'd done, it gave me the push i needed to step out of my relationship. i know i need myself right now, but i still feel strongly for mark and want to date him one day. he is so hot one moment and cold the next. he is still datign someone but cannot help himself when he is with me. i know he cares for me but he says now is not the time. he has allot going on in his life, and i fear our differences will never give us a chance. my biggest quesrtion is, if we're not emant to be, then why do we keep comign back togetehr no matter how we may try to stay apart? do u think we might standa chance? i don't want his sole purpose to have been to help give me the push to elave my realtionship. i truly feeel there has to be a more stonger purpose. please help give me some advice to see in to this situation. thank u for ure time...

Savio's Reply

Dear Serenity,
You cannot help things the way they are right now because you did everything to cause it and you are solely to blame. You are looking for answers when they aren't correct questions. You seem to enjoy the fact that you are getting attention from someone else while you were having another guy who you were dating. These off and on romances just end up bad. My advice is pick up the pieces and start living a fresh life without these messy relationships for a year. Just live, make friends and have fun. And also, work on your education and your own career.

Gavin's Reply

Dear Serenity,
The situation as of now is that you are just out of a relationship . also from mark's position he is not ready to get into a relationship. so basically you are free. there is a beautiful life lying in front of you. however my advise is that from now on, whosoever the guy comes into your life...please be loyal to him . dont justify your escapades with someone else whoever it be by saying its just kissing, just touching, just emotional, etc etc.